Campervan Hire Brisbane to Cairns
Between Cairns and Brisbane are breathtaking beaches and bucketloads of piss-water Queenslanders like to call XXXX Beer. But it’s more than beer – there’s also chicks. Tonnes of chicks. And muscle-mountain men who like to fish and drink beer and walk around festivals without shirts. But wait – there’s also more! There’s coral reefs with lots of fishies and beaches with great surf! Heaven! So get your ass into a Wicked camper and see this sexy little stretch of coast!
Cairns & Cape Tribulation
Cairns is a very pretty little tropical town in North Queensland. It seemingly has more transient people than locals, and often you’ll hear the mating call of the drunk English backpacker as you roam down Sheridan Street. The whole town kind of has a Peter Andre vibe (you know that piece of shit video clip “Mysterious Girl”). Basically tattoos and tans and six-pack city. But like everywhere, the experience is what you can take from a place, not what it is supposed to present to you. And the experience can be a rich one if you’re willing to get off the trail a little bit and explore. Places like Cape Tribulation give you a real sense of what the tropical North is all about – palm-lined, white-sandy beaches, laid-back locals and crystal clear water. A true paradise, with plenty of space to get away from the mating cries of the horny backpacker. Unless you dig that kind of thing…then go balls-deep man.
Airlie Beach
A very pretty little coastal town, and the most popular destination for those looking to explore the wonders of the Great Barrier Reef. With more tour companies than you could kill with a bazooka, Airlie Beach has an unlimited number of options for transport, accommodation and travel. From Diving the reef, to sailing the reef, to fondling pretty fish on the reef, life in Airlie Beach revolves around the magnificent Coral Sea.
Rockhampton & Bundaberg
With more rednecks per square metre than anywhere else in Australia, Central Queensland offers the traveller a unique cultural experience. Often seen in and around the local watering-hole, the locals tend to keep to themselves, but on occasion have been known to fraternise with visitors, particularly if there’s an opportunity to discuss V8 Supercars or the latest XXXX Commercial. Rockhampton is different to most coastal towns and kind of tries to be a little ‘Texas’ of Queensland. They have rodeos and real fucking cowboys! Bundaberg is popular with backpackers looking for farm work or fruit-picking jobs and also smelly rum drinkers.
Fraser Island
The largest sand island in the world, with the only rainforest growing out of sand (i read that on a beer coaster so it must be true). It’s one of those World Heritage listed thingys too. It also have baby-eating dingos, who love a good munch on the little ones. If you don’t like your kids, then bring them to Fraser and baste them in BBQ Sauce.
1770 & Agnes Waters
With lots of beaches (some you can surf in) and plenty of XXXX-drinking locals, Agnes Waters and the town of 1770 are must-see destinations if you’re keen on surfing, scuba-diving, snorkeling or doing that gay SUP Shit.
Noosa & The Sunshine Coast
Full of old people and young, sexually frustrated males, the Sunshine Coast and Noosa offer very pretty beaches, very pretty waves and very pretty people (apart from the old ones). Often referred to as ‘God’s waiting room’, Noosa has tried for 20 years to be manifest a cosmopolitan, cafe-culture, but seemingly falls short. But with beaches like Noosa Headland and Sunshine Beach, they can manifest whatever the fuck they want – it’s still got so much natural beauty, that you’d be crazy to drive past it. If you like hippies and trees and shit, then head inland a little to Eumundi.
Brisbane
I must admit to having a soft-spot for Brisbane. With an awesome local indie-music scene, it has all the benefits of a modern, big city, without the overwhelming density of a big city. With very distinctive local architecture, the houses are all essentially built for ‘Arvo Beers’ – that is, they’re all built with big ass balconies, designed for drinking beers while the fire in the sky sets on the horizon. The people are laid-back, with small town sensibilities, but also a bit more savvy about them. Brisbane also has a tonne of university students, which gives suburbs like Toowong, Fortitude Valley and West End some credibility as quite bohemian centres. The best thing about Brisbane – the backyard BBQ’s. Nothing better than dropping a tab of Acid and slamming beers on a sunny afternoon with half a cattle station roasting on the burner.