Port Lincoln

Now get the fuck outta Adelaide and head North following all signs to Port Wakefield and Port Augusta. Cruising along Gulf St Vincent the skies open up as the land gets flat and sparseness of this land truly becomes apparent. The roadtrains start to pop-up after Port Wakefield (1hr north of Adelaide) and there’s an eerieness to the land as you head further towards Port Augusta.

2hrs North of Adelaide is Snowtown, population 405. In 1999 Snowtown became infamous after 8 bodies were found in barrels of acid in the abandoned bank vault of the tiny town. South Australia is known for its weirdos and Snowtown is testament to the effect that isolation can have on the human mind. Make sure to check the place out - there’s not much though.

Port Augusta is where shit starts to get red. You’re on the fringe of the desert here and the next major town north is around 550km away in Coober Pedy. Be a good idea to stay here for the night - give your little baby hire campervan a rest. There’s heaps of places to stay for free around these parts - it’s very isolated. If you prefer, there’s some stuff to do in town - a few bars and old RSL clubs if you feel like a traditional Aussie meal or a cheap beer.

Get your lazy ass outta bed and get drivin’. It’s 340kms to Port Lincoln from Port Augusta - this’ll take around 3.5 hours. Stop off and have a look at Whyalla, SA’s 3rd biggest city (not really saying much!). This is your gateway to the Eyre Peninsula and an area of coast known for it’s arid isolation and abundance of sealife (including some fucking big sharks!!!).

Once you get to Port Lincoln take a break and check out the ocean. It’s a wild coastline famous for tales of massive sharks, whales, dolphins and lost souls. The isolation of the beaches and the tiny community of Port Lincoln (population 14,000) make it feel as though you have reached the last bastian of civilisation.

So here you can do what you want - check out the Sea Lions or go diving with the Great White Sharks - life in Port Lincoln revolves around the ocean in one way or another.

A good cheap place to camp for the night (about $11 per vehicle) is Lincoln National Park - here you can build a fire and sleep under the stars, listening to the sweet sounds of the Southern Ocean crashing against the ancient headlands and rocky outcrops that define the coast.

Start heading back up to Port Augusta. On the way, cruise through Iron Knob - an almost-abandoned Iron Mining town that feels like the perfect setting for a B-Grade horror film. The dirt gets red around these parts and it’s a great introduction to the Australian desert for those who’ve not ventured the Outback.